Pooping, Part Deux

I have a routine midwife appointment today; one of those twenty minute deals where I get weighed, my blood pressure is checked, I talk to Edie, she pushes on my stomach, and we hear the heartbeat. I am not really concerned anymore about gaining too much weight, as I feel good, and I don't think that I look bad. It's unfortunate that a certain level of vanity clings to me, and I was worried about getting too fat. I had initially hoped that I would be in better shape when I conceived, but instead, I started out 15 pounds over my "normal" weight of 135. Last appointment (twenty weeks), I was 155, which was a gain of five pounds from my first appointment at ten weeks. I don't know what I was before that. I estimate I was hovering around 150.

The Book says that I should have expected to gain about a pound a week over the last two months. It's mainly fluids and tissue. Squirmy itself probably weighs a little over a pound and a half, then there's extra blood, amniotic fluid, more *ahem* breast tissue, other fluid retention, and other things I am forgetting. I don't want to gain too little; it's important for the fetus to gain enough weight so we have a baby who starts out healthy, and as shrinking pelvises due to scurvy are not such a concern anymore, as they were in Victorian times, I don't need to shoot for a low birth weight just so I can get the thing outta me.

The only thing I was hoping for today's appointment was that my every-other-day poop would happen beforehand because--there's no nice way to share this except not to share it, and too bad, you're here, and pregnancy ain't always pretty--the poop itself would have to account for at least a couple of pounds. There's just a lot of it. I often clog the toilet.

There it is. Glamour, at its highest level.

Also, sometimes, like when I sit down or do something physical, a little pee will come out.

So very sexy.