Things You Don't Need

In many cases, what you need and don't need are a product of your parenting style. This list is partially a reflection of our choices thus far. We are cloth diapering, exclusive breast milk, babywearing, co-sleeping people who are vaccinating our baby on a slightly different schedule than normal babies.

This list is also by no means exhaustive, and I will probably be adding to it as I go.

OutfitsYou baby is probably not expected on a movie set in the near future, nor does he or she have a job interview coming up. Outfits are cute, but they are not practical. Finn has worn one "outfit," and that was for Election Day. (I want him to have proper respect for American Democracy.) It was adorable, and it bunched up weirdly (the outfit, not the election) and necessitated the use of the next item on the List of Superfluity.

Socks
"Like socks on a baby" should be a cliche simile for ultimate futility, e.g. "Building a house on this active faultline, near an ocean cliff, is like putting socks on a baby." I suppose if you were extremely trusting, or foolish, that could also be termed "optimistic." Now I know why Suri Cruise never had shoes on when she was first out and about. It wasn't just because her parents are eccentric (as they are rich, they are not called "crazy," though I don't think that rule really applies when it comes to celebrities. See: Courtney Love, Crazy.) Babies in shoes or socks will just leave a trail of footwear like Hansel and Gretel's breadcrumbs. Baby socks are something that adults want to buy because they are small and freaking adorable. We have handfuls of socks. I did not buy a single one of them. Socks will only stay on if they come up to baby's knees, and even then, it's minutes, not hours.

Hats of the Cotton Beanie Variety
Make friends with a knitter, and have him or her knit you up a few cute leetle hats out of stash yarn, in different sizes. You'll be all set. We have a grillion leetle cotton hats, and we don't use them. Newborns wear little hats in the hospital, and maybe for a couple of days once they come home, but after that, they are unnecessary. Again, these are a cute frivolity, like decorative statuary or female Alaskan governors. In winter, you need hats (see: Find a Knitter), and we also have a sun hat and a rain hat. We're set.

Burping cloths
Buying something sewn and sold expressly as a burping cloth is money that could be better spent elsewhere. Of course, we use cloth diapers because, well, we use cloth diapers. They are inexpensive, numerous, and absorbent. If you have a barfer, you will go through a lot of these in a day, and they certainly don't need to be cute or fancy. Baby does not care about horsies and bears on his puking surface. It just gets in the way of creative expression. Provide him with a blank canvas.

Disposable Diapers
OK, this is where I start to impose my parenting choices onto you, the reading public. But bear with me. I always intended to use cloth diapers because of the environmental concerns regarding disposables. Before you go quoting studies to me, showing that the difference in environmental impact is a wash, remember that one of those studies was commissioned by Procter and Gamble, makers of Pampers and the other was deeply skewed in favor of disposables. If you have a high efficiency washer and dryer and use biodegradable detergent, you are making a huge difference. I know that there are day care issues in that many day cares will not use cloth, but I am hoping that as cloth becomes more common, day care establishments will have to adapt. The money argument doesn't hold water over time as well. There are periodic initial investments in cloth--usually around $200 at each installment, in my experience so far, but if you add up the cost of disposables, one conservative estimate is around $2,700 for about 7,500 total diapers over the course of your child's diapering years. Yum. I don't think that we will even come close to that.

When we brought Finn home, we had a small supply of the crappy Pampers he was in at the hospital (they would have just thrown them away), and I had bought one package of Seventh Generation diapers in the newborn size, just in case we had difficulty getting our system in order. Then, I picked up a second package that was on sale. We still have one left over from the first package, and we never even touched the second.

There are health concerns regarding disposables as well. They contain chemicals to aid in absorption that were banned in the 1980's for use in tampons, and they can emit toluene, xylene, and styrene (Healthy Child, Healthy World by Christopher Gavigan), which babies don't need to breathe. Also, as the absorptive chemicals (sodium polyacrylate gel) mean that baby does not feel the wetness, they are not changed as often, which can lead to more rashes and can extend toilet training in some instances.

Sure, I guess it's a personal decision, but cloth diapering is not hard, not too expensive, not too time consuming, and I'd be happy to talk about cloth diapers with anyone who is interested in using them, but thinks it's not going to work out.

Fancy Diaper Bag
These things are huge, ugly, and often expensive. You don't need it. When we go out, it's with the felted bag I knitted, and in it I have a change of clothes, burpie diaper, cloth diapers, wet bag, travel size diaper cream, wipes and wipe solution, a changing blanket, and an extra blanket and hat. Sounds like a lot, but it fits in this small bag (the black one):

I also put my wallet, phone, and teeny camera in there. It doubles as my purse.

Fancy Crib
You could take out a loan to create a nursery only to find that your baby will not sleep in it. Again, not to impose a certain parenting style on you, but don't be creeped out by words like "attachment" and "co-sleeping." I know I was when I first started reading about having a baby, and I know I had my opinions on what parents should do. Everyone does. Finn will nap in his moses basket or in his swing, but he sleeps with us. He does not have his "own room," and he won't for the foreseeable future.

When your baby comes home or arrives, you need diapers, receiving blankets, a place for him to sleep, things for her to wear, and a pediatrician (they won't let you leave without one)... your baby does not care about bunny wall paper or the perfect nursery suite. That's all you. What baby needs most is care and comfort. After (hopefully) nine months of warm gushy security, it's a cold, hard world. Snuggle with them while you can, so when they are teenagers and they hate you, you have happy memories upon which to draw, keeping you from wringing their necks.

Formula
Even if it is frustrating at the beginning, breastfeeding really is better for them and, in the long run, better for you, because it gives them protection against illness. It's also cheaper and quicker than making bottles and buying formula.

I pumped exclusively for 2.5 months and then got a 5 pound preemie onto the breast. Anything is possible.

You need:
Sleepers (with feet)
Onesies (TM)
Any Other Brands of Single-unit, Crotch-snap Underwear

Patience, the occasional libation, love, support, a good pediatrician, resilience, optimism, the willingness to do your own research and stick to what you think is right for you and your baby, and the ability to both live only in the moment and understand that it will not always be this hard.

Later, it will be a different kind of hard.