Weep, if the tears will come

After hitting my head for the third time today on the exposed cabinet in our gutted kitchen corner (I drew blood the second time), I screamed and collapsed to the floor (like a boss). When Finn came in to see what was up, I told him. And then I started weeping.

As most parents can attest, crying in front of your child is not an awesome super power. You feel exposed and weak, and it puts your child in the awkward position of having to be a care giver.

Finn sat down in the floor and hugged me. Then he said, "I'll be right back," and left. He came back with his stuffed duck and handed it to me. Again he sat and hugged me. I continued to weep. He left again and came back with a blanket, preparing to emergency cuddle right there on the kitchen floor. At that point I said we could go to the couch, where he proceeded to carefully place a throw pillow behind my back.

Another night, after the above embarrassing scene, Finn and I were sitting on the couch, and I started crying. Pete had been especially exasperated with parenting, and I had sent him away and took over. Something about the stress or hormones and stress and hormones led me to start with the water works again. Finn patted me and asked, “Mama, are you crying?” “Yes,” I said. “Because of daddy?” “Well, sort of.”

The next morning, he informed Pete, “You made mama cry.”

I wasn’t planning on bringing it up, but I should have known better than to answer his question truthfully.

A few days later, I had to run to my brother’s and pick up a camera. It was -8 degrees outside, and after driving half a block, the car alerted me with “Tire pressures low.” I pulled over to do a visual check in case the car was just frozen stupid, and yup, they were low. I went to air compressor after air compressor only to discover that they were frozen stupid and not working. I had to get the camera in time to get ready and make a photo shoot, and I was now stressing out, frozen, and the front left tire was almost flat from trying to get air into it. I came home, walked in the door, panicked, and started crying.

Pete came to give me a hug, and Finn got in between us. “Daddy, I got this,” he said as he hugged and patted me and went to get the stuffed duck.