It's winter 2009 and I am typing on my iPod touch while watching sitcom reruns on DVD and my infant sleeps on me.
Oh wait. It's winter 2013 and I am typing on my iPhone while streaming sitcom reruns on Netflix and my preschooler sleeps on me.
Four years later, and here I am. Pinned to the couch.
I am going to start a club called Underachievers Anonymous.*
*Fortunately, I am an underachiever, so I don't have to worry about capitalizing on this idea.