training boobs

"Have you tried him at the breast yet?" asked the nurse.

"No," I said.

"You really need to. If I were you, I would take him now, " she said, gesturing to Finn, who was fussing on Pete's chest as Pete positioned him for Kangaroo Care. "He's exhibiting hunger cues. See the way he's moving his head and his hands?" She seemed a little... intense about it. I felt a teensy bit like I was being scolded. Then again, it's easy for me to feel like I am doing something wrong, and some of the nurses are more paternalistic than others.

His weekend primary nurse had mentioned that we could start nuzzling, but we had company, and I figured it would be better to wait for a more relaxing time to try something new. After that, I just didn't ask. Even though he's our baby, it feels like we should ask permission to make changes or add new things. That's not entirely true, but I do need to learn to be a better advocate for myself. If we arrive at his bedside, and he has a new nurse, we have started to introduce ourselves and tell him or her our routine. After a new nurse last weekend seemed like she was in a hurry to get him back into his isolette because she wanted to leave, we feel this is the best course of action.

But this past Saturday, even with the nurse's suggestion, I decided not to move our Little Man. He was already starting to settle into cuddling with his daddy. I had definitely noticed his cues: the lip smacking and tongue thrusting is particularly fun to observe, and I was both excited and fearful to try him at the breast. It was something I was longing for, and it was something new and different with no guarantees. He can really get working on that soothie, but would he take to the boob?

Yes.

Sunday morning, we positioned him, and he went for it. He's a little too small and not quite strong enough to really latch on, but he sucks and plays, and he gets tired relatively quickly. Then we get to watch him sleep on my lap. Kangaroo Care is wonderful for the closeness, but sometimes it's also nice to bundle him so that we both can see his little face.

Mornings are best; he's more awake then, but we offer up a little (or big. very big) boob every time we get him out, which is twice a day now. In the evening, if he's too sleepy, I hand him off to Pete for a little Daddy Cuddle time. It relaxes both of them.

It will most likely take him a long time to figure out what he's doing with the breastfeeding, and I need to make an appointment to have one of the lactation specialists in to give me a hand (another thing I am not good at doing, in case you have not noticed: asking for help. Even professional help). Nuzzling is good practice, and it's good for both of us. I know that it makes me feel content and much more connected to Finn. It mellows out the whole situation. Ironically, as he gets bigger and better, we worry about him a little less, and it's easier to handle. But as he gets bigger and better, he's becoming more alert and active, and it's harder to be away from him.

We'll keep nuzzling and watch him hopefully progress. Of course, the word "nuzzler" makes me think of "niffler," which makes me happy. Our little niffler is sniffing for gold.