Saturday, March 22, 2008

Pooping

It's something that we take for granted.

I had never really thought about it much until Pete came along, actually. Girls, in general, don't keep track of this sort of thing. We do it, it happens, and we move on.

It seems like a big deal for boys, though. They are more aware of its comings and goings, and if it is absent for what they deem an unreasonable amount of time, it causes them distress. I have not conducted any ranked surveys or statistically sound polls; this is all anecdotal observation. Boys going through potty training get the whole peeing-in-the-toilet thing pretty easily, but when it comes to the pooping, there seems to be a bit of separation anxiety. I don't know what else to call it. They want their diapers back on; that's where it must be deposited, and it can be a serious undertaking. I have heard the stories from more than one mother. If this fetus turns out to be a boy, I will be most interested to see what happens at that point.

I have not surveyed any of the men I know, and boys at potty training time are not necessarily a mine of relevant sociological data: "How do you feel about your bowel movements?" I can really only rely on Pete, and the memories that are sparked. I know that when I have asked girlfriends "When was the last time you pooped?" they have usually shrugged and said "I don't know... yesterday sometime?" It's just not an event that has a memory marker.

Pete would know if you asked him.

Luckily, I think that no one but me would ever ask him. And now, maybe a bunch of people to whom I am exposing his personal habits.

I can get away with this because I am pregnant. And I am about to talk about me.

Pregnancy has changed my attitude about my body and my relationship to it. I now know about my pooping. It does not cause me anguish, it is just interesting. Pregnancy takes a lot out of you, literally and figuratively. Actually, figuratively, it adds a lot to you....

It can be mentally taxing.

The demands put upon all your major systems are no small matter, no matter how small the fetus. Or embryo. Or blastocyst. Or zygote. My digestive system has slowed down so that I can squeeze every last drop out of the food I eat. It's slower going down, it stays in there longer, and it's slower coming out. Yet another reason to stay away from crap food. How long do you really want a Big Mac to be inside you?

This slow down means that heartburn and constipation are more common. I poop less. Much less. But you know? I would not call it constipation because I am not really uncomfortable and, it's a natural and necessary part of being pregnant. I consider constipation to be a departure from the norm. It can be two days between B.M.'s, as my grandmother used to call them (The other grandmother called it "make a pile." Truly gag-worthy. I hope to never say such things to my future child). The heartburn is more uncomfortable than the infrequency of poopage, though. It's in my throat; it's right there--I can taste it, and I can't really stop it once it starts. Were the poop doing something like that, I would most certainly object.

They keys are fiber, water, and smaller, more frequent meals. That's good advice in general for non-pregnant people, too, so one side effect of all this is that I could develop better habits.

Not giving up spicy food, though. This fetus will have to tough it out and get used to it.
I like my curry.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh dear--this is all my fault (a feeling mothers often have as you will learn). When Pete was at the training age, it was spring and all the flowers were coming up. I told him when he went in the toilet and not his little training pants the water would put the poop in the ground and help fertilize the flowers. since he loved flowers even then and loved controlling the ups and downs of those cool briefs he was delighted to use the toilet and was so-o-o easily trained. Hoping you have such a nice experience too with your little one Karen and Pete! Grammasue