Monday, April 12, 2010

No Good Title

I've done my performance appraisal for work. Answered some email, both personal and work-related. Sent out babysitter requests. Put in a time-off request.

It's 4:34 a.m.

Clearly, I have a lot on my mind.

This is the third night of this, though Saturday night was more in the realm of general restlessness rather than full-on insomnia. Friday night, I woke up at 2:30, which is right around when Finn has been waking up lately. He did not wake up until 5:30, which was just about as I was falling back asleep. Tonight/last night (there's not much of a difference at this point), I probably woke up at a similar time, but I did not get out of bed until 3:30. Both the boys are sleeping away. Friday night, I watched series two episodes of "Lark Rise to Candleford" until I decided I simply had to try to go back to sleep. It didn't work very well. Tonight/this morning, I am taking care of  business because my brain is spinning.

There's too much going on; too many things in my head, and I had to get a few of them out of there. There are many more, but they have a teeny bit more space in which to knock around, so perhaps I will have some quiet, at least from the brain area. The insomnia is more than likely hormonal, at least, that's my hypothesis. I have no diagnoses or evidence aside from personal anecdote, and we all know how reliable that is on a macro level.

But it's day 16 on that lovely old girl calendar, and it usually seems like it's mid cycle that this happens to me in a big way. I have not been very good at sleeping for a good chunk of my adult life, and I don't seem to need as much as 8 hours a night, anyway, but this is ridiculous. I don't remember what it's like to sleep through the night. Indeed, at this point, I can't even imagine it.

You lay your head down, fall asleep in 10 minutes, and wake up eight hours later? Really? People really do that?

There's no point in trying to go back to sleep at 4:42 a.m. when the alarm will go off at 6:00, but I am going to be wrecked.

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