Saturday, April 24, 2010


I'll be 40 next month, and I just had my first massage. And pedicure.

I'd never been interested in it, and even today, if I had to pay for it myself, I never would have done it. It's such a strange thing, and I guess I am terribly odd, but whenever people would go on about spa days and massages and pedicures, I would shudder. I am not sure what it is, but I think it has something to do with control and boundaries, as well as my perpetual fear of anything new. I don't like to not know what is going to happen or what I am supposed to do. I certainly didn't want people to be touching my feet.

But if I were ever going to do it, today was the day. It was being offered as a gift, I would be with my best friend who knows the score, and I am on vacation. I know it sounds like I am talking about contemplating skydiving and bungee jumping, and normal people would not have to mentally prepare for what they consider pampering. I think the odds of dying from or during a pedicure or a massage are pretty slim. Plus, it's highly unlikely that people who are being paid to do a job and hope to be tipped will ever point and laugh or ridicule their clients.

Fortunately, I did not have time to worry, as we had all of a ten minute warning to get down to the fourth floor to the spa. We put on robes to go to the appointments. It was weird being out in public basically in PJ's. I mean, if you are not wearing underwear under your clothes, that's one thing. You still feel clothed. But not wearing underwear in something like a terry cloth robe is something that you normally only do at home.

Is that too much information?

Well how's this? I really should have pooped beforehand. It definitely made it less relaxing.


Pete McCauley said...

Whew! So, are we done being freaked out by this now? Just wonderin'...

Anonymous said...

no worries...i get it...though i've had plenty of mani/peti days...they have always been done by the only professional i trust...ME!!

mani's i could probably live with...but peti's? fear is either... 1. (since i'm as ticklish as a nelly school gurl) have'n such a heart attack laughter outbreak...that i would have involuntary reflex and punt the person's head thru the ceil'n

or 2. they would cut the nails so short...that my nail bed would burst open and blood would flow like the hoover damn just was blown to bits...and then i would punt their head thru the cail'n

but was it...i sooo want one?... (note to self...empty body of all fluids...gases...and compost 30 minutes prior!)


vix said...

I've never had a manicure or a pedicure either and shudder at the ladies who have them regularly. I just.. never wanted to be one of those 'types', you know? Also, I hate feet. Don't be fucking with my feet.

Also, the pooping line was hilarity.