Friday, July 10, 2009

I Feel Like There's Something I am Missing

As you may be able to tell from the lack of postings, it has not been the best of days. The first four teeth came in without fanfare. The next two are more bombastic. The Boy has been running a teething fever off and on, is biting and chewing on everything, and is generally a pain in the ass, especially at night. So it's me; I am the one who has to deal with the night-time problems, and I am exhausted. To the point of staring and being unable to think at times. I have plenty to say, much that I wish I were writing about, even some notes that I have yet to type in, but I can't bring myself to do it. Even logging on to do this was difficult, and I love to write.

It seems lately that I can't go an hour without yelling "OW!" Ultimate Fighting Baby is biting, pinching, slapping, and clawing me quite regularly. Were I insecure or deranged, it would be easy to think that he does not like me or is a budding sociopath. Neither is true, though I do believe that I had my first taste of bald defiance today.

While out in the garden snipping some herbs for dinner, he wanted the scissors. I tried to tempt him with a bit of plant. He wanted scissors. I said "No," and kept them out of his reach. He swiped at me and clawed my neck. I yelled "OW!" and he sat there on my hip, looking at me impassively. I brought him in and gave him to Pete.

He's asleep now, and Pete just went to bed with his book (He's reading John Adams). I should go to bed, but I don't want to, even though I am tired. I have so little time to myself, time that does not involve chores or baby or husband or work, that I just want to be by myself in a silent house, enjoying a Guinness until I DECIDE that I want to go to bed.

I'm reading two books right now. "American Sphinx" about Thomas Jefferson and "Renegade" about Barack Obama (I have not read the review I just linked). How's that for juxtaposition? I am almost done with the former and half way through the latter. But the latter is from the library, and I know I won't be able to renew it because someone else will want it, so I have to finish it first.

Both of them are quite interesting. Especially when read so close together. I have an enduring fascination with Mr. Jefferson and a great respect for Mr. Obama. Both are interesting characters, and it's nice that I am around to witness this small section of history. I wish I could go back and witness the other.

It's an interesting time, this small section of history, the one transpiring in my house. Until he sleeps, I don't think it will be much different, and I am not sure how to get him to sleep. We plan on setting up the crib, but we have to figure out how and where. Our house is small, and the bedrooms don't have much room for maneuvering. I have some crib measurements with which I plan to experiment, hopefully this weekend, but I also have to clean and work on the book I am editing. There's not much time, in the time that is mine, to make room for these things, as the time that is mine is divided between baby, husband, house, work, and then me. Though Husband would probably say that he gets little or nothing, it's not true from where I stand.

Tomorrow, I am going with a friend to get her hair cut. It's long and beautiful, but it's boring her, and she wants a change. I offered her a haircut as a belated birthday present. It should be fun. At least it gets me out of the house. Maybe, if Jonny has time, I'll get mine cut, too. It needs it, and he's awesome. I've been to the salon numerous times in the last few months, but not for myself.

It smells like baby poop in here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

All parents are missing something!
They always get to do whatever they want. They don't understand that the shiny sharp thing is needed for exploring.

It takes forever to train parents and it's so hard to get their attention when they're looking away.....