Do my boobs make me look fat?

You don't have to answer that. I know that they do.

I am still wearing most of my regular clothes, though I have definitely put on a few pounds and not all my pants are entirely comfortable. Still, the main problem is that, well, my boobs are disproportionately large, and they make me look bigger all over than I am.

It's hard to tell if I am getting any sort of "baby bump," a term I dislike because it's all over the tabloids due to the aforementioned knocked-up celebrities who I am merely copying in my reproductive aspirations. Any "baby"-related abdominal evidence is probably still hidden under the extra flab I was already carrying. Though this is the time to start looking for it, and also the time to begin the futile fight against stretch marks, which my clinical book tells me there is nothing you can do about, and which my other books still insist on saying can be treated with creams.

I went ahead and made one figuring that it can't hurt, and since I made it, I know what's in it. It's a mix of cocoa butter, wheat germ oil, light sesame oil, apricot kernal oil, vitamin E oil, beeswax, and vanilla. It's a pleasing buckskin color, it smells nice and nutty, and it absorbs well. Plus, I could eat it, and nothing bad would happen to me. Not that I am planning on that, but it's astounding the kind of crap that is put into beauty products and is therefore absorbed into your skin. I am figuring the fetus does not need any petroleum byproducts or hormone-confusing chemicals.

My own hormones are quite enough, thank you very much.

And thank goodness, again, for maternity style for juniors. I can get inexpensive shirts that I will be able to wear for a few more months. Of course, they are all size large so they can fit over my maternity mammaries.