News

Once you reach a certain age, "news" starts to mean something.

If you are single and in your twenties or thirties, it's usually an engagement. If you are in a relationship, it's usually a baby. Or, at least, that is what people expect. You have to watch how you throw around the phrase "We/I have news!" It could be that you got a new job. It could be that you are moving into a new house. Maybe you sold a song or a story. But if the audience wants babies, then anything else is going to be a disappointment, and you can see that disappointment crush the initial excitement and then witness the painful recovery. "Oh. Oh! Oh, that's great!"

When I am trying to keep something to myself, I have to hope that I am not asked any direct questions, or it's all over. I won't be able to think of a plausible lie, and the truth will come out after some awkward verbal stumbling. It happened when Kira offered me wine on Liza's Birthday, and I answered "I can't" instead of "No, thanks." It happened again at work yesterday.

Originally, I was intending to wait until the end of my first trimester and the results of the screening test to tell work. Then, after The Scare and having to call in "sick," I was thinking that I would tell my coworkers so I could explain my absence, in case something like that happened again. Once I got back, though, no one posed any questions that I could not get around and I was feeling more comfortable that things were, at least for the moment, stable. It did not happen until Friday when we sat down for a meeting and one of them asked "So were you on vacation earlier in the week?" I said "No, I was on the couch for four days."

"What did you have?"

Silence.

I thought about it for a second, and decided that there was no better time than the present, and I told them what had happened and what was happening. I had been worrying since I found out that I was pregnant because I had just accepted this job and would be starting with this big secret that would take me out of the office in a few months for an unspecified period of time. I felt bad about it, like it was a professional betrayal.

They were all happy and excited, though. No one had a noticeable outward moment of "Nice, so you'll only be working until September?" All in all, it was actually a relief, and now I don't have to be vague if I have to be out of the office for appointments or anything else. It will be even better when we can broadcast the news, and tell everyone.

I am looking forward to that.