Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Finn sleeps with us. It just sort of happened. Who knows what we would have done had he been born like a normal baby, around his due date and toward the end of an actual third trimester. I always planned on having our baby in our room, and I was looking at getting a co-sleeper. He wound up in our bed through a series of changes in night time routines which always involved him falling asleep with one of us and his apnea monitor. Would he be a sleeps all night baby were he not a cosleeper? The world will never know. Would he be an all-nighter if he had not been born so early? His adoring fans can only speculate. It does not really matter, but it does not help me quell feelings of stabby rage whenever I hear another parent cooing over their 10 week old baby who sleeps through the night. Especially when my demon vampire baby is crawling out of his co-sleeper, into our bed to bite me on the arm while making hypervenitating sounds. It makes me think that the advocates of bedsharing are only doing it because they want other people to suffer their hell. Then again, I signed up for this, and I don't think that breast fed babies do sleep through the night commonly, and if you add the family bed to that, then you are most likely going to be awake a little more and a little longer.

He's asleep right now in his co-sleeper, and I snuck out to take out my contacts, wash my face, and write this. I'll sneak back in, and he will wake up in 1 to 3 hours. Then I'll move him into the bed, and we'll do the nursing tango until we get up for good.

His Indian name is Naps at Daycare, or Sleeps for the Sitter. Hearing about his three hour napathons just makes me sigh and shrug at this point. Then I go wake up all the cats. Because I can.

But I don't think I'd go back and change anything. There's no point in thinking that way, and I did get time with my baby; I do get time with him. And during the day, he's happy and charming. He's secure and adventurous. Happy Morning Baby often makes up for Thrashy McDiaperpants.

I guess I could think about night-weaning sometime soon, but then I also think that he's only almost 13 months, 9.5 months minus the hospital fetus time, and I don't want to risk a big drop in supply just yet. So I'll hang in there. We have moved into a different phase, the one where he actually does sleep alone for awhile and Pete and I watch library DVD reruns of shows we can't see because we don't have cable. Together, on the couch, like grown ups. And I obsess over whether or not Finn is still breathing, in the room all by himself.

I just checked on him.

He is.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Crawling!!! :) Biting!!! :(

I love the way you examine the details and put them on paper (err cyber-paper); joy and exhaustion that will too quickly pass into new joys and exasperations!

Beautiful.

susan said...

Ok, so these people who have all night 10 weekers are either lying or NOT nursing but giving formula to their infants! I mean I have never heard of a nurser who slept through the night till at least one year of age. Finn is doing great because he so secure and happy and making a transition to his own crib will be fine if he is not rushed--co-sleeper, crib in your room, crib in his room. You two are doing an amazing job so don't worry! We cracked up at this blog--Thrashie Mcdiaperpants---. Kiss "Naps-at-daycare" for all of us here on the Vineyard and remind him grammsue is coming to play not sleep!!