Reading

Our Little Man weighs 1245 grams (2.745 pounds), and he's going back on the all-at-once bolus feedings today. We'll see how it goes this time. He desaturated a couple of times while I was there a little while ago but came out of it pretty easily. His color stays the same, and he's still breathing, just not deeply enough. I have not seen the grey baby in awhile, and that's fine with me.

I changed a nice, poopy diaper, and he kept on pooping while I was wiping. I waited for him to finish because I am nice that way. He's also wearing a big, giant, light blue shirt. It's the first time I have seen him in clothes. He usually wears only a diaper; it was a bit surprising to lift up the isolette cover and see a garment. It looks both funny and charming, and also made me feel like he was more of a "normal" baby.
This weekend, I finally dove into the literature. Pete got some articles from a colleague on premature babies, but I have not been able to look at it. Possibly, I was avoiding reality in the form of medical fact, instead choosing to deal with the real situation in front of me in the form of Finn and the entire experience. Now, I am able to deal with reading. Granted, it's a book for parents called "The Premature Baby Book," so it's not wildly clinical, but so far, I have found it surprisingly accurate and helpful.
It validates the myriad of feelings that parents of preemies pass through, and reminds us that we are not alone. We are not the first, and we will not be the last, to have this experience. I am getting the feeling, however, that most moms stop working while their babies are in the NICU, which could make me feel guilty if I felt that there were anything else that I could do. Granted, I do not have to be strapped to my desk because my co-workers are understanding, but I have to work and earn money. On the bright side, I can pick up my key to the "expression room" here at work, and I am going to check it out. Hopefully, I can get set up over there this week and have a slightly more regular schedule.